Post by Jonathan on May 27, 2007 20:06:56 GMT -5
Found these online figured i'd share them since they gave me a good laugh.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes?
If corn oil comes from corn, and olive oil comes from olives...Where does baby oil come from?
Why is it called a hamburger when it's made out of beef?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Do infants have as much fun in their infancy, as adults do in adultery?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If “con” is the opposite of “pro”...then what is the opposite of progress?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, but dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
If your car could go the speed of light, what happens when you turned your headlights on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it.
Why are they called hot water heaters, when hot water doesn't need to be heated?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag, and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? (Do they think that someone will sneak in and clean them?)
Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as “4's”?
Where do Forest Rangers go to “Get away from it all?”
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “s” in it?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Can anyone do a good Richie Little impression?
How come we drive in a parkway, and park in a driveway?
There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can't.
If Listerine kills the germs that cause bad breath, what does a mouth full of dead germs taste like?
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes?
If corn oil comes from corn, and olive oil comes from olives...Where does baby oil come from?
Why is it called a hamburger when it's made out of beef?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Do infants have as much fun in their infancy, as adults do in adultery?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If “con” is the opposite of “pro”...then what is the opposite of progress?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, but dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
If your car could go the speed of light, what happens when you turned your headlights on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it.
Why are they called hot water heaters, when hot water doesn't need to be heated?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag, and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? (Do they think that someone will sneak in and clean them?)
Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as “4's”?
Where do Forest Rangers go to “Get away from it all?”
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “s” in it?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Can anyone do a good Richie Little impression?
How come we drive in a parkway, and park in a driveway?
There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can't.
If Listerine kills the germs that cause bad breath, what does a mouth full of dead germs taste like?
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.